It wasn’t until I moved to the Pacific Northwest that I have tasted grapes in its flavorful, juicy, sweet goodness straight from the vine. After a few seasons, I came to notice how they are only sweet if exposed to the sun. The brighter reddish hue and its plump appearance are the tell-tell sign that you are looking at a delicious fruit.

Our hearts are just like the fruits. With consistent and ample light, water and fertile soil you could expect a good harvest. If I take the time to bask and rest in the love of God in the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I have a capacity to be a blessing to my family and to those around me. I can offer care and kind words throughout the coming and goings of the day. But if there is depravation along the way, I tend to let words, actions or inactions of others sit brewing and repeating in my head until I become a sour grape.

What does rest in God look like? Lately I have discovered it is not just setting aside time with Jesus to sit with His Word and going to confession regularly. It is also looking at the true individual that I am with a unique set of needs, desires, and brokenness.

My view of self-care used to be bare bone: prayer, sleep, exercise, periodic doctors visit, nutrition, connection with friends, animals, and plants. If I am honest, occasional travel and exposure to art/music refreshes me. But what is preventing me from being my best self? I would get overwhelmed easily when it came to cleaning and organization. I was running out of excuses now that I am retired from my teaching position. Today I want to share how I came out of this inertia that kept me from taking better care of my home.

Over the summer, I led a study on St. Thérèse of Lisieux. Her example of Little Way expressed through neighborly love resonated with me profoundly. When Thérèse saw that there are nuns most people avoided, she decided to do the opposite by seeking them out and practice charity. Her goal was not to bring consolation to the person because humans misunderstand each other all the time. Thérèse’s actions were driven by a desire to please Our Lord and to follow the Gospel principles, namely his command to invite those who cannot return the favor. (Luke 14:12-14) ^*1

Convinced that charity must be expressed through action, Thérèse was determined to maintain her peace and joy while a fidgety nun was making little noise during prayer. She could not pray so decided to listen to it as a “magnificent concert”.^*2 When Thérèse was only a novice, she felt inspired to accompany a frail nun after communal prayer knowing that she is difficult to please. It became a routine where the old nun would shake an hourglass and say “Let us go.”^*3

On another occasion when Thérèse found a particular nun to be “irritating” she chose to offer up “her virtues and merits” every time she saw her and smiled at her warmly whenever there was an opportunity.^*4 These actions are a complete opposite of how we are tempted to advertise faults of others and avoid the person who irritate us.

I felt convicted. So I set out to offer to God the positive traits and accomplishments of people who hurt me or neglected my needs. I did my best to offer small acts of charity. It did not take long to realize that forgiveness allowed me to see the other person with compassion and empathy. I also saw myself as a broken human being that struggles with organization and procrastination. Mercy of God flooded into my heart, and I am starting to see all humans through his love.

It was in this context of calm tenderness that I devised a simple routine to resolve my struggle with house cleaning: vacuuming downstairs and basement on Mondays and upstairs on Thursdays. I also allowed myself the next days, Tuesdays and Fridays, as my backup days. I set out to scrub, mop, or sweep as a touchup whenever I had a moment. I identified cluttered areas and bought a few organizers to contain the bath goods. The routine keeps the house in decent condition, and I can invite friends over with ease and look forward to the shared time.

Once our vessel is free of old debris, we can give so much more to those around us. We are each made in God’s image and there is a bit of God’s goodness in each one of us. The same Holy Spirit that filled the early apostles and all who followed Christ in the last 2000 some years is living in us. It is liberating to be able to offer my free will to be engaged in acts of charity with no expectations, because it feels like I could become the sweetness that pleases our Father in heaven.

The characters in the Bible are the testament that God used their talents to serve him. Adam named everything and tended the garden. Noah built the altar and worshipped God voluntarily as soon as he landed on dry land after the flood. David tended his flock and played lyre, which trained him to be the slayer of the giant and a great leader for his people. Rachel took it upon herself to stay with Naomi when her husband passed away. Esther chose to speak up to the king courageously and saved her people from annihilation. Mother Mary said yes to God when the angel appeared to her and bore our Savior.

Another encouragement is that God plants desires in our hearts for his will and for us to engage in the work we are called to do. Philippians 2:13 says “For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work.” May we see ourselves as we are, and be healed from the wounds from the past. In so doing may we be free to know God’s will and to serve him joyously. In Jesus’ name amen

*1 Story of a Soul p144

*2 Story of a Soul p147

*3 Story of a Soul p145

*4 Story of a Soul p130

Source: St. Thérèse of Lisieux (1898). The Story of a Soul. Tan Classics.